RiffMeter (35 votes)
Oh hai, direct-to-video prequel to C-list 90s horror movie franchise!
Greg Sestero, who you might know from such roles as Mark from The Room and Retro Puppet Master, stars in Retro Puppet Master! Learn the answers to all your burning Puppet Master questions like: “Where did he get the puppets?” (He already had them) and “What kind of drugs, Denny?” (It doesn’t matter)
To top it all off, Mark tries to pull off a French accent for the entire movie that somehow ends up sounding even faker and weirder than Tommy Wiseau’s. You know those videos where a dog is holding a huge stick in their mouth and trying to get through a doorway, but they can’t because the stick is too big? That’s what it’s like watch Mark attempt to act while simultaneously maintaining a “French” accent.
Fear not! No prior knowledge of the Puppet Master series is required. No, not even Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys. Join Mike, Kevin, Chris R, and Bill for Retro Puppet Master.*
*Chris R was arrested before he was able to record. Mark assures us that “It’s clear.”
Conor Lastowka - Senior Writer
Sean Thomason - Senior Writer
Contributing writers: Mike Schuster, Jason Miller and Molly Hodgdon
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